Brother’s Best Friends Are My Mates novel Chapter 65

Matt

It should be a good feeling to know we are one step closer to getting Gabi back and stopping the Rosewater clan for good, but instead, all I can think about is how out of place I feel. I felt this a lot growing up, thinking I never quite fit in with the rest of my family.

My father always made it clear that he thought I didn’t live up to his standards. It made me angry, wanting to try to get him to notice me, but eventually I stopped giving a fuck. He was perfectly fine with ignoring me—until it became clear that I might leave the pack.

He couldn’t live with the fact that I might no longer be a part of the clan. How dare I, his son, do such a thing? But I pushed ahead thanks to the help of my at the time future pack. They proved to me I didn’t need to do anything but be true to myself.

Cheesy advice, but it worked for me.

However, now everything was changing. Gabi was gone and Michael was a shadow of his former self. Rain was off training to join a vampire clan while Lia was learning magic.

Then where was Colby, our new pack leader? I wouldn’t want to be the pack leader and never thought of even tossing my name into the ring. Colby was the one who fit the position perfectly.

But it was a change.

Jesse was the only one who remained the same. The thing is when it came to Jesse, he was strong, never letting anyone get the better of him.

I wasn’t like that though.

This was why I went for a walk in the backyard that overlooked some woods. Sometimes, you need to go for a walk to clear your mind and I was at that place.

“Matt, I’m joining you for a walk,” Jesse announced, catching me off guard.

I jumped ten feet in the air, looking around with wild eyes.

“Jesse, when the fuck did you even get here?”

“I’ve been following you for the past five minutes,” Jesse announced, tilting his head to the side. “How did you not notice me?”

My lip curled wards into the beginning of a snarl.

“I was distracted by my thoughts, Jesse. We can’t always be attuned to the world like you are.”

Jesse shrugged. “Well, let’s go for this walk so you can clear your mind of whatever it’s on.”

The two of us walked for a while until I decided I’d had enough of walking. My mind was still wandering, the thoughts weighing on me heavily.

I sat on the edge of a log, staring into the trees. “I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, Jesse. Rain and Lia are out there training, Colby’s the pack leader now, and I’m just… here. Useless. I can’t even figure out how to help Gabi after she got kidnapped. What’s the point of me being around?”

Jesse leaned against a tree, arms crossed, his expression unreadable. “You’re going to sit here and whine about it?”

My head shot up, eyes narrowing. “Wow. Thanks for that. Supportive.”

“I’m not here to pat you on the back, Matt. You don’t need it.”

“Oh, don’t I?” I snapped, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “Because clearly, I’ve got it all figured out.”

“You don’t, but sitting here feeling sorry for yourself isn’t going to fix anything.”

I frowned, shoulders sagging. “Easy for you to say. You’re always so sure of yourself. What do I even do? I’m not a leader like Colby. I’m not a fighter like Rain. Hell, I’m not even as good with strategy as Lia. What’s left for me?”

“Then figure it out,” Jesse said bluntly.

“Wow, great advice,” I said, throwing up my hands. “Super helpful. Why didn’t I think of that?”

Jesse pushed off the tree and stepped closer, his piercing gaze locking onto mine. “You want someone to tell you who you are? That’s not how it works. You’ve always been good at keeping everyone grounded. The glue that holds this messed-up group together. You don’t have to be Colby or Rain or Lia. You just have to be you.”

I scoffed, looking away. “Being me doesn’t feel like enough right now.”

“Then stop feeling sorry for yourself and make it enough.” Jesse’s voice didn’t waver. “Gabi’s out there, probably scared and waiting for someone to help her. Do you think she cares if you’re not a leader or a fighter? She needs you, Matt. Not some version of you you’re trying to measure up to.”

I looked down at my hands, my voice quiet. “What if I screw it up?”

“You probably will,” Jesse said with a shrug. “But you’ll get back up and try again. That’s what you do, Matt.”

I glanced up, studying Jesse’s expression. “You always this blunt?”

Matt balked. “Are you going to use that bat with the spikes on it? I don’t think I’m ready for that, Jesse.”

I threw my head back and laughed. The effect was quick; Matt jerked away from me, staring at me with wide eyes. A smirk flashed across my face. It was good that I could strike fear into people by just laughing,

“No, noi spiked bats will be involved. We’ll do hand to hand combat. It’s not like we haven’t sparred before,” I pointed out to him, tilting me head to the side. “Are you afraid to fight with me?”

He huffed. “I am not afraid to fight with you.”

“Trust that I wouldn’t kill you. Hurt you yes, but never lill or seriously injure you.’

“Jesse, that is not as comforting as you think it is.”

I tilted my head to the side. “It’s not like I was trying to be comforting. Don’t think I have it in me.”

“Come on, Jesse, don’t sell yourself short. You do have it in you. What you do is deny it.”

Now I was even looking more forward to kicking his ass.

“Why don’t we spar now?” I asked, smiling at Matt.

Matt didn’t take the bait this time. He didn’t shiver and kept my gaze, which wasn’t that difficult. We were practically the same height.

“Fine, let’s go,” he said, eyeing me up and down.

I grinned.

This was going to be fun.